- The Juggle
- Posts
- Stop asking your kid how their day was.
Stop asking your kid how their day was.
Do this so you don’t get “good” for 67th time...
Adam Pollack
September 10, 2023
Howdy,
You know the drill…
Pick your kid up from school or daycare. And you’re excited to hear about their day so you come in hot with…
“How was your day??!?!”
Only to be met with this brick wall…
“Good.”
Frustrating, right?
Not to worry, I’ve got just the thing…
Today, we have…
1. An unorthodox way to get your kid to talk about their day.
2. 11 simple rules of negotiation to get more in life.
3. Daytime kid vs. nighttime kid
(If you were forwarded this email, subscribe here).
1. An unorthodox way to get your kid to talk about their day.
Don't ask them how their day was right when you pick them up.
You're in for the fastest "good" you'll ever get.
Offer a snack, some water, a hug etc.
After the edge has been taken off with a mountain of Goldfish, they may start talking.
Not always, though.
So, I wait till dinner.
We all go around the table and talk about our day in the following format:
The best part?
Our kids are now more observant since it's part of the daily routine.
Like that time there was a half-eaten chicken nugget sitting on the bench at the park.
And my son said, "That's definitely going to be my buffalo."
Got any clever ways of striking up a dialogue with your kids?
Email them to me!
2. 11 simple rules of negotiation to get more in life.
One of my all-time favorite books is Getting More by Stuart Diamond.
Read his bio. It’s impressive.
What stood out to me is how different negotiation is portrayed in movies and TV vs. how it actually works in real life.
It’s never about force. It’s much more about finesse.
I find myself using these rules every day in work and with my kids…
1. Goals are everything
They are what you want at the end that you don’t have at the beginning. Anything you do in negotiation should explicitly bring you closer to your goals.
2. It’s about them
You can’t persuade people unless you understand the pictures in their heads. You are the least important person in the negotiation.
3. Make emotional payments
When people are irrational, they are emotional. When people are emotional, they can’t listen. Empathy and apologies go a long way.
4. Every situation is different
There is no one-size-fits-all approach. The same people on different days in the same negotiation can mean a different outcome.
5. Incremental is best
6. Trade things of unequal value
Find out what the other side cares about that’s trivial to you - emotional or rational, tangible or intangible - and figure out how to deliver it.
7. Find their standards
Everyone follows policies, precedents, and past statements and makes exceptions.
8. Be Transparent
Don’t deceive people. It doesn’t pay long-term. If you’re in a bad mood or don’t know something, say so.
9. Always communicate
Most negotiations break down over poor communication. Don’t walk away from one unless everyone agrees to take a break. The best negotiators state the obvious like, “We don’t seem to be on the same page.”
10. Uncover the real problem
It may not be obvious at first. You have to probe to figure out why the other party is acting the way they are. A dispute over a business valuation may be a problem around a lack of trust.
11. Embrace differences
Most people hate differences. They’re why we have wars. In a negotiation, they usually mean more money and creativity. Asking about differences builds trust and leads to better outcomes.
3. Daytime kid vs. nighttime kid
Pretty much sums it up… 😂 😂 😂
P.S. If this was helpful, take 1 minute to forward it to a friend or family member. It takes me 2+ hrs to make.
See ya next week!